My nerves are shot.... & it's all because I photographed my Mother's Boudoir
Last week I traveled to my wonderful hometown of little itty bitty Schenevus NY to photograph 6 beautiful ladies boudoir sessions. One of those sessions was my mother. It was about a week before I left that my nerves began to come in. I was photographing my mom.
I know what you are thinking surely I have photographed my mother before, family photos and so on, but boudoir is so different. So intimate, so emotional, so demanding. But the thing is how rewarding it can be. But we are talking about my mom here right?
My mom, a woman who never saw herself as beautiful, always was talking herself down and not up. Even though she had recently worked her ass off on a beach body program and was up to 72 lbs lost she still was so full of self hate. This was going to be hard. Harder than any boudoir I had ever taken on. I was terrified. Terrified she wouldn't like her makeup, she wouldn't be comfortable, she wouldn't like the lingerie I had chosen, how the session went, how I made her feel, but most of all I was and am terrified that these photographs won't wake her up. That she still won't see how beautiful she is, that I will still have to hear," Oh I'm fat or look at my fat arms." that she won't absolutely love them and see her own beauty through my eyes.
Boudoir is a huge part of my heart it feeds me so much happiness and my soul so much light and I was terrified this shoot would change that, that I had met my match, I would have a client who still after everything didn't see her own beauty. My mom would still not believe she was beautiful, the most wonderful beautiful woman in my life wouldn't see what I see.
So I sit here writing this and attaching the very first few photographs from her session , for her to see for the first time. And I just hope, so much , that I did it.